Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer
by A Fire in the Attic
Summary: Sam shrugged. "Yeah. Every couple of years, right before Christmas. And get this—it's always been a grandma. Their grandkids always identify the assailant as a reindeer, even though there are clearly claw marks on their backs and the heart has been ripped out." 25 Days of Ficmas. Basically pure crack.


**Prompt: Sleigh Bells**

**Word Count: 996**

**Notes: This is ridiculously cracky.**

**Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer**

* * *

The old woman stumbled across the snow, shivering as she dug through her purse. "Where're my keys?" she mumbled. She paused to lean against a black SUV, still searching for her keys. "Not here."

She started to walk back toward the house, when she was knocked over from behind. She gasped as something cut into her back and rolled her over.

"Reindeer?" she whispered in disbelief.

Something hard knocked into her head, and she passed out.

Several minutes later, a boy walked out of the house. "Grandma, is everything okay?"

The sound of sleigh bells filled the air, and a dark shape lifted off of the ground.

The kid pulled out his cell phone and used it as a flashlight. He moved closer to the mass on the ground, wondering what it could be.

The square of white light landed on red snow. He gasped, but kept moving the light onto the dark shape, and shrieked. "Grandma!"

* * *

"You're serious," Dean said, crossing his arms. "A reindeer."

The kid just nods. "I know you don't believe me, but that's what it was. And you saw the hoof marks."

"No, uh, it's like that song," Sam said, nodding. "You know. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer."

Dean shot him a disbelieving look. The kid looked offended. "You don't have to make fun of me."

Sam shook his head. "I'm not. Did you get a good look at the reindeer?"

The kid shook his head. "I just saw the antlers and heard…sleigh bells," he muttered.

"Huh," Sam said. "Thanks."

Dean looked relieved to get away from the kid. "You believe him?"

"It's interesting," Sam said, shrugging. "And it's a start."

* * *

Three hours later, Dean brought dinner back into the motel room where Sam had been researching. "Find anything?"

Sam took the bag from Dean and pulled out his salad. "Thanks. I haven't found anything about a monster reindeer, but I did find a lot of other cases like this one, all across Minnesota."

"Just Minnesota?"

Sam shrugged. "Yeah. Every couple of years, right before Christmas. And get this—it's always been a grandma. Their grandkids always identify the assailant as a reindeer, even though there are clearly claw marks on their backs and the heart has been ripped out."

Dean groaned. "So what is it?"

"Well, like I said, I haven't found anything about a monster reindeer, but, uh, I did find something about a monster goat that steals naughty children."

"Last time I checked, grandmas aren't naughty children."

"No," Sam agreed. "But all the victims were intoxicated before being attacked. It might just be a modified myth to scare kids into behaving."

"Okay, so what is it?" Dean asked.

"They call it a krampus," Sam said, and pulled up a picture.

"Great," Dean said, grimacing at the image. "So how do we kill it?"

"No idea," Sam answered.

* * *

"We might have a problem," Sam said, frowning. "Silver's effectiveness isn't really the issue right now."

Dean looked over at him before returning his attention to the house, where a grandmother happened to be knocking back a few too many shots of vodka. "What?"

Sam sighed. "Just—how do we know that the krampus will even strike again? It hasn't even attacked every year. Why would it attack twice?"

Dean shrugged. "Might not. But if it does, it will be her. I don't think _I _could take shots like that."

Sam leaned over and watched the grandma. "Uh. Yeah, you could."

"Yeah, I could," Dean said smugly.

"Hey, hey, she's leaving," Dean said, nudging Sam. "You got the rowan stake?"

"Yeah, plus the salt." He picked up an iron cross from his bag. "Try this, too," he said, tossing it to Dean.

Dean caught it and shoved it into his pocket. "Okay, let's go."

They got out of the car, but didn't approach the very drunk woman as she walked down the path.

So when it happened, they were too far away to do anything about the giant reindeer that came down from the sky.

The sleigh bells were also louder than they'd expected, and Sam actually had to cover his ears. "What—"

"Come on, Sammy," Dean said, yanking Sam forward. "No time to waste."

The brothers tore across the street, Sam still clutching his ears tightly.

"Try the silver bullet," he yelled at Dean.

Dean fired a shot into the reindeer's head, which made it stop, shake it's head slightly, and turn to glare at them.

"Son of a—" Dean was cut off by the deer knocking him onto the street. He shoved the iron cross into its face, but it barely reacted, just knocking it away.

Sam stabbed its leg with the rowan stake, which did injure it enough that it had to stop clawing at Dean's heart.

Dean dug his lighter out of his pocket, because fire slowed everything down, right?

But of course it was covered in the snow that was still falling, and refused to catch fire. "Sam! Get the gaso—oof."

Sam had already run back to the car to grab the gas, and so he threw it at the reindeer. Some of it splashed onto Dean.

Dean tried to light the deer on fire again, and this time was successful. It roared at him, and some of the flames caught on his gasoline splatter shirt. He swore and rolled out from under the reindeer, and then kept rolling until he could get the shirt off. He threw it into the snow.

Sam watched the fiery reindeer try to take off before collapsing into a pile of…sleigh bells.

"That was…crazy," Dean said, frowning. "Is that grandma okay?"

Sam jogged over to her. "She's just knocked out, I think. She'll be okay."

"Good. Let's get out of here."

* * *

The next day, Sam flipped through radio stations until he rested on one playing Christmas music.

Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer started playing.

"Change it," Dean said.

* * *

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Supernatural.

**A/N**: I warned you. I so warned you. Written for the 25 Days of Ficmas and inspired by this post on tumblr: liketogethertogether. tumblr post/38036162840 (full links on profile).


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